The green, green grass of home

Everything went green all of a sudden. Either the gnomes and pixies snuck about in the middle of the night and painted all the grass really green, or I have had a sudden improvement of colour vision overnight…

The green! It is so green!

Hooman says that “green is a terrible colour, as that is the same colour as cabbage, and cabbage is horrible”. This logic seems sound to me.

A Numps sized trail

As you can see, the weather is lovely, and The Wally has accompanied us. I am looking particularly spelt if I do say so myself. Hooman says I need to bulk up, so will be feeding me cabbage from now on. I gave him my stare. He gave me ham.

Ham > Cabbage

I suspect that hooman is in fact a massive pansy. When we go on these patrols, he is always on the look out for these leaves called ‘nettles’. He says they sting, and make your skin go all lumpy and itchy, but they don’t bother me one bit, and I can meander through them without issue. Maybe they only attack non-apex omnivores?

Nettles are no bother

We watched a film the other day… ‘Watership Down’ about a little tribe of big-eared meat that are trying to find a new home as one of them is a mystic dreamy one who envisages humans coming in and destroying their home.

Well, they seem to go on this long, dangerous journey risking life, and limb, against some nasty characters… My issue is why they don’t just murder the hoomans when they come in their machines? Job jobbed. Humans cannot cope with either nettles OR cat scratches.

Rabbits are wusses

I wonder what other apex-predators do in their spare time? Crosswords? Sudoku? Maybe they go on bike rides? Who knows. It must be hard for a crocodile to ride a bike. They only have short legs.

Does a Hippo go fell walking in their spare time?

Up in the tree everything looks different. Hooman is a mere spec on the ground, and I can see The Wally wandering round in the bushes just over there *points*. This his my natural habitat as a slightly smaller jungle panther. Like they do, I drag my prey into the trees to keep them safe. You can often find my kills, (butterflies, moths, shoelaces, and bits of tissue), lying on a tree branch, or on my ‘plank in the tree’ that hooman made me.

A lesser spotted tree dwelling shoelace killer

Some birds are weird. We have a lot of Storks and Herons here. They are proper gangly birds. They appear to have spears glued to their faces too, which must be annoying. We have a Stork that lives on a pole outside the house. It flies above the house and swoops in with twigs in its mouth. That’s a funny diet, twigs.

Twigs are not food

Out on the fields the soil is all dry, and crumbly. The farmer people ploughed it all, but as it hadn’t rained for a bit, it is all dusty and powdery. It’s not as nice on my pawses as the nice green grass, but it is good for rolling around in!

A big patch of worm poo

I don’t know why, but a cat just has to have a roll about in it.

It’s an urge

What? Why are you looking at me funny? Hoomans have those weird face packs, and paint their faces, and do that hair cutting thing. Rolling in some worm poo is NOT odd!

They see me rollin’, they hating’!

Anyway, enough rolling, and back to being the furocious beauty you all know I am…

You can’t see me…

9 thoughts on “The green, green grass of home

  1. Loved it! I agree with the bit about hoomans being pansy cos of stinging nettles and rolling in worm poo. I did not know that worms did poo….You are really lovely Numps and I loves ya lots

    Liked by 1 person

  2. Worm poo will be the Hollywood next big beauty treatment, because your coat always looks shinny, silky and healthy.

    Rabbits are woosy after all they listened to a dream! And their meat has almost zero nutritional value, silly creatures.


  3. I don’t think I have seen worm poo, but I do like to roll in the earth. Sometimes I go in the horse school and roll in the wood chip. I have to be careful not to roll in the horse poo though because it is much bigger than worm poo, and probably a lot smellier. I bet The Wally would like to roll in it.

    Liked by 1 person

  4. numps…..we gotta a greez with yur dad…..yur lookin kinda leen….we say…tell him ta get two de store & pick up a few 100 hamz ….ham, ham samiches, ham & kibble, ham & grazz…..itz all good 🙂 happee easturr two ewe all, { even tho we canna see ewe in de middle oh de last fotoz ♥♥♥ }

    Liked by 1 person

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