Beamish and Murphy – Guest post

Today’s blog is a guest post brought to you by Beamish and Murphy, who did an interview with Sky News on the importance of choosing the appropriate staff to satisfy their kitty needs. B&M can be harassed endlessly on twitter @beamishnmurphy, or you can berate their staff for a lack of ham on Anne’s twitter account @SadOldBint

Coming home

Beamish in the pens
Beamish was furious that he spilt tipp-ex on his chest just before he had a visitor

Murphy in the pens
Murphy, (Surfs), tried hypnotism on visitors when she was in the pens… Clearly it worked on Anna

Life can be hard, when you suddenly find yourself homeless and without staff, through no fault of your own, at the grand old age of 17. This happened to my brother and I last year.

We considered our options. Beamish said that we should go on a world tour – 2 cats with no ties, seeing the world, hunting wildebeest, living a life on the road, with no worries or cares.

I looked at him. I reminded him that, at 17 years old, life on the open road was not really an option. Sleeping on the ground would play havoc with our arthritis, and also who would provide the ham?

After much discussion, we bundled our most precious possessions into spotted hankies, tied to a stick, and moved into a hostel for Distressed Gentlecats, funded by the Cats Protection League @CPChiltern.

Rug nap
We decided that due to the effects of gravity, we would lie on the floor, as this reduced our chances of falling off anything

The hostel wasn’t so bad. Temporary staff were provided to give us food & tend to us. Sadly, ham wasn’t provided, as our funds didn’t stretch to that. Then one day, a hooman came to visit, to apply for the job of Staff. She was quite friendly, and, after we decided to employ her, she left a downpayment of a pack of Dreamies, and said that she’d return in a couple of weeks.

Serious Smurf is serious…

Two weeks later, the hooman came back, at about 6.30 in the evening, bundled us both into a large carry case & put us in the big car. She then drove for hours and hours and hours, until we got to our new home at about 7.00. She showed us around, and then dished up some tea. We nodded off on the sofa for a bit, then the hooman gave us some ham.

Beamish in the garden
If you want me in the house, then you will have to provide ham, or chicken, or tuna, or those little cat treats that look like little crispy pillows, or cheese, or …

The next day, Murphy decided to be a little scaredy cat and hid under the sofa. She even missed breakfast, which, sadly, wasn’t ham. At lunch time, she eventually came out.

Murphy lion
Murphy is mostly fluff.

I wasn’t being a scaredy cat – I found a quiet place to sit and consider our options. I thought about whether we had made the right decision in employing this particular Staff. As it turns out, this was the right decision. The food supplied is adequate – we are regularly given ham, chicken, sardines and tuna, there is a garden to sit in to catch the sun and rain (strangely the hooman doesn’t understand that, when you’ve been incarcerated in a homeless Hostel for Gentlecats, feeling the rain on your fur is a nice thing!), and lots of nice places to sleep.

We have discussed the matter at length and, even though the hooman insists on coming to sleep in the big comfy bed after we have already claimed it, we have made the right choice. This hooman isn’t perfect, but we quite like her. I do wish she’d stop with the smoochies though – I mean, really??

I quite like the smoochies! They make me purr.

2 hours in
Default position. We;re old you know? Now put on the Archers, leave us treats, and we’ll be quite happy!

Beamish and Murphy were homed at Chiltern Cats Protection, and can be found on twitter at @CPChiltern.

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