Trees, showers and drugs

Things were going swimmingly at hooman’s. We were ‘getting on’ with the dogs quite well. They stopped chasing us at every opportunity, and eventually we could sniff each other. There was still a risk of drowning when The Ted-bear gave us a sniff, however, due to excess slobber.

Hooman gave The Ted-Bear a shower once as he had rolled around in mud. It proved to be a disaster. He showered fine. He sat there all lathered up, but releasing him from the bathroom resulted in a body shake that peppered the walls with water. It was like Niagara Falls, (which we would visit some months later).

“I hate you, hooman”, said the dog would have said if he could talk. He can’t as he’s a dog. Not like cats. We are very talkative.
The Wally clearly thought this was hilarious, and ran around him, playfully, then sat atop the steps and let out a huge dog guffaw!

The Wally laughing at The Ted-Bear after his shower. He did not know he was next.
The Wally laughing at The Ted-Bear after his shower. He did not know he was next.
The Wally was too stupid to realise he was next.

Quite often I would try to sit with The Wally, (not due to friendship, rather he was like a large warm mattress), and he would give hooman a look that said “what the hell do I do here? Do I run? Do I keep very still? It has claws, god damn it!” He would normally slowly stand up, and skulk out of the room as though no-one could see him.

In the garden, we got adventurous. The trees became our own little kingdom. Hooman thinks it is because we are playful little marvels. In reality we just wanted to eat the small birds chirping in the branches. Being kittens, however, proved we were woefully prepared for this task. We had to rely on the hooman for food, which damaged our street cred.

It took me a while to get the courage to go to the upper branches, but Batman, (being the hero of Gotham, etc), was straight up to the top, chilling like some savannah big-cat crossed with a Panda.

It is now time for a public service announcement. Catnip has never bothered me. Like some people aren’t affected by coffee, catnip does nothing for me. I had to move onto more potent catphetamines.

Don't do drugs, M'kay!
Don’t do drugs, M’kay!
Drugs are bad. Just say no. Choose Ham instead.

The Batman never required drugs. He was content philosophising on the top step.

The Batman pondering his navel.
The Batman pondering his navel.
More great things have been said about cats, than by cats, but that is only because…

“If animals could speak the dog would be a blundering outspoken fellow, but the cat would have the rare grace of never saying a word too much” – Mark Twain

Clever hooman that Mark Twain chap.


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